(When grasping the not-so-bright moments), a poem



My SWEETNESS

SOON you’ll understand.

(WHEN grasping the not-so-bright places)


HYPERINTENTIONAL

AFFIRMATIONS


“I ask you to lean

into your messiness

with curiosity

In place of judgment“



To the corners of my bed

that float into madness

and in the moments my mind smells

like rotting flesh

and a basement full of blood.

When others are argumentative

my tongue stays stapled to the roof of my mouth,

my mother sits in silence — weeping.

This confidence eating at my skin like fire and maggots,

the blackness of this mirror slips into bleakness.

I've replaced my ears with ongoing music

Repeating the words “To the seasons that have failed”

— ‘This isn’t you” / “Something is up”

(THIS ISN'T YOU, SOMETHING IS UP)



my body floats in a bathtub

as transparent as clear water,

if only I could retrieve my past self

(“this still isn’t you, something is up”)





THIS IS A BREAK IN THE FABRIC

OF THE ABYSS

(electric club lights & a lost saint)



LANGUAGE AS A PORTAL INTO A NEW

I respond to this unfolding of red and flowers, and stories of bitter liberations with unintentional survival rekindling moments of self.


I am encompassed by the weight of curtains and heavy staircases, evoking shadows from my legs, residing in a place of tender and unrelenting.


MIND OF MINE, let me relearn love beyond tongue truth and shape.


~


Written by Nas

Nas (they/she) is a queer Somali and non-binary person seeking to both write and reconcile while expressing the unseen, laughter, lament, spirit-hood and subconscious emotion. Additionally, they are an avid mental health advocate, a social work student with a giant love of roller-skating. Find them on Instagram @mysteriouscorpiodad

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